Our Little Secret
by Justine Lark
Summary: Bella has an idea for something special she can do for Edward now that they're engaged. It will be their little secret. If only she can persuade him that it's safe! Complete in 2 chapters.
1. Chapter 1

_Author's Note: __I had__ numerous stories in progress, but this idea came to me and I wrote it start to finish in a day. I hope you find it entertaining!_

_Of course, the characters belong to Stephenie Meyer._

* * *

"Absolutely not."

"Please," I begged. "I want to."

"Bella, no. It isn't safe." His tone left no room for argument, but I wasn't giving up that easily.

"I know you can handle it."

"You _hope_ I can handle it."

"I trust you, Edward; I trust you completely." I ran my hand over his chest. We were lying together in my bed, separated as usual by blankets. "When we're together, when we're kissing, you have to control yourself all the time. I can just forget about everything and enjoy how it feels, and you never can. I want you to have something that's just for you."

"It's fine. I'm fine. I love being with you. I love just being near you. I don't need you to do that."

"Haven't you been listening to me? I _want_ to."

"It's not worth it."

"It's something special I can do for you. It's worth it to me. You know you'll like it. You can't tell me you won't. Let's just do it once and you can tell me afterwards if it was worth it."

"Bella!" he groaned in frustration. "Do you remember what I am?"

"Of course. I've thought about everything."

"I don't even want to discuss this insane idea, but I can see that you're not going to give it up until you've said everything you have to say. So go ahead."

"First, Alice," I said briskly.

"What about her?"

"I already cleared it with her. So she wouldn't be taken by surprise."

"You told Alice your idea?" Shock and dismay filled his voice.

"I had to. It has to be a secret. That much is obvious. And, well, I didn't think you would say yes right away, but as soon as you do—"

"_If_ I ever do," he corrected.

"OK,_ if_ you do, she'll be able to see. And I didn't want her to panic and go running to Carlisle."

"Carlisle! Can you imagine what he would say about this?"

"I guess I can, which is why we're not telling him." He looked troubled. "We don't have to tell our parents everything, Edward. You don't seem to mind sneaking in here every single night right under Charlie's nose. You know he wouldn't approve. Why can't we hide something from Carlisle? Why can't we have something that's just between us?"

"Bella, you are too much."

"I'm an 18 year old girl who wants to please her..." I faltered. I peeked at his face. The corners of his mouth twitched into a smile as he waited for me to complete the sentence. I didn't speak.

"Go on," he encouraged. "Let me hear you say it."

"Fiancé," I pronounced stiffly. "Are you happy now?"

"Indescribably."

"I love you. I want to make you happy. Please let me do this!"

"You do make me happy already," he replied automatically. "What did Alice say?" His curiosity was a good sign, I thought. He was tempted by my idea. I just had to overcome all his scruples. "Shall I ask her myself?" Not only was he curious, he was impatient.

"She thought it was… a bit risky, but she understood why I want to. And I reminded her that she owed me for letting her do our wedding her way. She agreed it was up to us. She promised that she won't tell anyone unless she sees me actually getting hurt."

He frowned. "You know that doesn't mean anything. If you were to get hurt that way, it would be too fast for there to be any warning for her."

"You won't hurt me," I insisted. "That part doesn't matter. The point is that she agreed not to tell."

"OK, so you've got Alice conspiring with you. What else?"

"Well, we'll do it here, of course."

"Of course," he repeated flatly.

"Your house is out of the question. They'd all know right away."

He was silent for a while, his fingers idly caressing my face. Finally he spoke. "All right. I can see that it would be safe in the sense that only Alice would know. We wouldn't have to face anyone else's reaction. But that doesn't mean it's safe for you. What makes you so sure it won't be too much for me? Do you know what I could do to you?"

"Yes, Edward, I know," I said patiently. "But I also know that you won't. There have been plenty of times you could have hurt me, and you never have. This won't be any different."

He shook his head. "You have too much faith in me."

"You don't have enough faith in yourself," I countered. "I have one more argument for you." He gestured for me to continue. This was it, my ace in the hole. "If it turns out that this is something that you like, I wouldn't mind staying human longer."

His breath caught in his throat. "Are you serious?"

"Dead serious." He frowned again. "OK, completely serious," I amended.

We lay quietly again. He'd heard everything I had to say, and he hadn't said no yet. When he spoke, the sound of his voice, gentle and teasing, sent hope soaring within me. "Bella, what is your secret?"

"What do you mean?"

"How do you get me to do so many things that are against my better judgment? I'm older, bigger, stronger, faster—"

"Smarter," I added.

"But you always win." His crooked smile thrilled me.

I threw my arms around him. "Thank you so much! You will not regret this. It's going to be wonderful. You'll see."

He sighed. "I'm going along with this because you said you might delay your change."

"Not because you want to?" I challenged. He didn't reply. "Aha!" I crowed. "You do want to, at least a little bit."

"To coin a phrase, I'm only human. I think I'll enjoy it."

"Yes!" I was so excited. "That's what I want more than anything."

"I suppose you've already picked out a date for the big event."

I certainly had. "Tomorrow morning."

"Tomorrow?" he objected immediately.

"There's no time like the present. Charlie will be out fishing. We'll have the house to ourselves. _Carpe diem_."

"What about, you know, what we're going to need?"

"You can get that tonight, after I'm asleep."

* * *

_Author's Note: Feel free to review now! Or you can wait until the conclusion._


	2. Chapter 2

I was like a child unable to settle down on Christmas Eve. Edward had done so much for me. Saved my life, of course, but lots of people would have done the same if they'd had the chance. It was the love that he showered me with that meant the most to me. I'd finally figured out something special that I could do for him, to show him my love, and even more amazing, I'd persuaded him to allow it. I was quivering with anticipation. But I wanted to be in top form the next day. I concentrated on relaxing and on the sound of his voice softly singing in my ear, and suddenly it was morning.

Edward wasn't in bed with me. He was sitting in the rocking chair.

"Good morning." His greeting was pleasant but nothing more.

"Good morning," I said warily. "You haven't changed your mind, have you?"

"Have you changed yours?"

"No!"

He smiled at my enthusiasm. "If you're sure, then OK. But I want you to have breakfast first."

I rushed through the morning routine. Edward watched me closely. I tried to calm down. This was an important moment for us. I should show that I took it seriously.

A thought struck me. "You… know how, don't you?" I asked.

He laughed. "You're blushing. So beautiful. Yes, I think I learned something about it in medical school. Maybe not the first time through, but certainly the second." I rolled my eyes at him.

Finally, we were upstairs again, on my bed. "I'm ready," I declared.

He looked straight into my eyes. "Bella," he breathed. "I want you to know that I never expected or hoped you would do this. It honestly never crossed my mind as a possibility. And you don't have to do it again. We're trying it once, and then we'll talk it over." I nodded. My mind was beginning to float away on his scent and his gaze and his voice. "I love you."

"Wait!" He froze. "Kiss me first." A slow smile spread over his face and he leaned in. His cold mouth was electrifying. I wrapped my arms around him and tried to explore the whole surface of his satiny marble lips with my mouth. When I felt completely overflowing with warmth and satisfaction, I released him. "Now I'm really ready."

His hand slid up my arm to the inside of my elbow. He was numbing my skin.

"You're sure?" he asked again. I nodded eagerly. He pressed a quick, soft kiss on my lips and turned away to concentrate on his task. "Don't look. It will hurt a little bit." He slid the needle in. "A vein. On my first try. I must have a knack for this."

Having the needle in really didn't hurt, but I was tense. I could feel the heat of my own blood flowing through the thin tube lying on my arm. "Distract me," I demanded. "Kiss me some more."

He hesitated. "You have to stay still. You don't want to jostle the needle. That will hurt and—"

"Just be careful. I won't move." He kissed my other hand, my wrist, my arm and my neck. It was extremely distracting. If only I'd had him with me at the doctor's office all those times. He glanced at the collection bag.

"That's enough," he announced. Swiftly and gently he removed the needle, taped a bandage in place and folded my arm up.

"Drink it," I urged. "Before it cools off."

He kissed me again. Then he sliced a corner of the bag so that the blood poured into the metal cup he'd brought. He lifted it to his face and inhaled deeply. Then he drank it.

I was riveted as he fell back on the bed with an expression of joy and wonder on his face. He looked glorious, fierce, angelic, heart-stoppingly beautiful. I felt ecstatic. _I'd_ made him feel that elation.

He opened his eyes. "I have to have more," he growled. In an instant he had grabbed my shoulders and bent his head to my neck. I started laughing as I felt his lips move in a kiss.

"You didn't even tense up," he accused. "Your heart didn't accelerate at all."

"Sorry," I giggled. "Still not afraid of you."

"I am a very deadly predator," he informed me.

"I'm sure you are."

"Absolutely lethal," he stated.

"Absolutely adorable," I replied. We grinned at each other. "Did you like it?"

"Did I _like_ it? How can you even ask?" He took a deep breath. "It's beyond words." Suddenly he looked at me anxiously. "How do you feel?"

"Great."

"You're not faint or dizzy? You should drink fluids. Here—" As soon as the word was out of his mouth he'd flown through the door and returned only a bit more slowly, with a cup of juice. To mollify him, I chugged it.

"I feel perfectly fine. I feel wonderful. You had a great experience, and I made it happen."

"It was all you, Bella. Pure you. That's what makes it so wonderful." He lay back on the bed again. "I wish I could make you feel that good."

"Well, you know you could, anytime, if you didn't have those turn-of-the-previous-century ideals," I teased him.

He chuckled. "I didn't make the rules. I just try to follow the ones I haven't already shattered."

"Is it..uncomfortable for you now? Because you had some?"

"Yes," he admitted. "And no. It's hard to describe. It's many things at once. I feel satisfied, because nothing could be more fulfilling. And I want more, because it's so delicious. But I always want it, at some level. And yet at the same time, I don't feel any temptation, because I know that taking more now would hurt you, and my mind and body utterly reject that."

"Edward, I am so happy to see you like this! Please say we can do it again."

"If you are willing, I can't see why not."

"We should wait thirty days." He nodded. I guessed he had also looked up the Red Cross guidelines. A person can donate a pint every 56 days, but I'd given him just half a pint. Not enough to affect my energy level or taint his eyes.

"And as long as I want more, you'll stay human for thirty more days?"

"For a while, anyway." He pulled me into his arms.

"I'm going to hunt before I go home. Just to make sure they can't tell. OK?"

"OK," I said dreamily, relaxing against him. "You know what else makes me really happy about today?"

"What, sweetheart?"

"I love that we have a secret."

* * *

_Author's Note: This story was inspired by the song "Bleeding Love." I couldn't use that as the title because it would give too much away. I don't think Edward would really agree to this, although if I were Bella, I would have offered! I don't know if that's a sign of my love for him or my seriously twisted mind. Stephenie Meyer has explained that they can't do this because it would undermine his discipline and resolve. But I emphasized the exuberant, slightly reckless teenage boy in Edward, the one we saw in the meadow, over the controlled, serious, conscientious, mature man in Eclipse. I figure teenagers do all sorts of ill-advised things behind the backs of their elders. Maybe they did it without telling Stephenie because they knew she'd disapprove._

_Please let me know what you think. It might be a little out-of-character for Edward but I hope you enjoyed it anyway._


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